Sunday, May 21, 2006

A punishment for Born-Again Christians

They Should Be Made to Live Like They Did in Christ’s Time


Harry Kurtzman, the atheist insult comic

If these Born-Again people want to take the Bible literally and impose laws taken from the Old Testament on 21st-century America, they should be forced to adopt the following Biblical ways:

They should wear Biblical garb made only of materials known to the land of Judea two thousand years ago.

They must drive to work that way.

In an ox-cart – the only means of transportation.

They must speak in an ancient tongue like Aramaic.
All PowerPoint presentations they make at the office have to be done on stone tablets.

When they get fired, they must not preach in the parking lot: “Castelli Brothers Cadillac Dealership Unfair to First-Century Christians.”

Must be made to live on manna. If no manna is available, they must substitute Wonder Bread.
Must express primitive incredulity at modern conveniences. i.e., “An ox-cart that can fly! And without oxen!”

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