Darfuris Host Benefit to Aid Celebs

Thousands of people from the Darfur region of Sudan today came together for a benefit concert to aid troubled Hollywood celebrities.

“True, we are the victims of genocide,” said Manu Obigwan, a Darfuri whose entire family was killed by the janjaweed militia, “and we often get caught up in self-pity, thinking we are the only people who suffer. But what about those poor Hollywood celebrities, such as Denise Richard, whose husband is divorcing her? Or Tom Cruise, who is slandered for his religious beliefs and whose sexual orientation is constantly questioned? And we won’t even talk about Paris Hilton’s tragic inability to get people to take her seriously. Celebrities suffer in ways we Darfuris can only imagine: They get poor facelifts, their sitcoms are not renewed, and they often can only get six kinds of spring water in their trailer, but not the one kind they prefer.”

The benefit concert, the proceeds of which will be donated to Celeb-Aid and distributed among Beverly Hills’ neediest, consisted of various tribal songs performed by Darfuri musicians, a medley of African dances, and a fetish doctor casting off Martha Stewart’s “bad mojo.”