Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Satan, CEO

Don't you love all these books that depict Jesus as a modern capitalist leader? Take the book "Jesus CEO," which praises the Lord for the way he dealt with his "staff" ("If Satan calls, I'm in a meeting"), for "staying in touch with His boss," and for turning a motley group of apostles into a "thriving enterprise." (Well, they got that right.)

Who are these people kidding? If Jesus walked into Merrill Lynch tomorrow morning in his robes and sandals, followed by his usual motley crew of apostles and sinners -- not to mention lepers! -- he'd be crucified for the second time.

"Um, Jesus, that email that you sent around about the meek inheriting the earth. It's not funny."

"Jesus, this business of giving away your earthly goods...what kind of investment strategy is that?"

"J.C., listen: When one of our clients asks you how a rich man can enter the kingdom of heaven, you tell him, "diversify."

Satan is clearly a much better model for today's corporate CEOs. On the other hand, clearly the Evil One could learn a few tricks from Jack Welsh and "Chainsaw" Al Dunlap.

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