Sunday, April 09, 2006

Consumer immortality; Congressional records

"Intense re-tightening gel." "Anti-aging water." Skin care in a bottle. Immortality through consumerism. All Mephistofeles has to offer the American middle class for their souls is a Sharper Image catalogue. So they can spend the rest of eternity shopping. (One circle of Hell Dante neglected to include.)

Why just today, on the N train I overheard one young woman say to her two friends, "I took the 'What kind of Converse are you?' test. I was multcolor Converse." This was undoubtedly the first test in her life she'd ever taken voluntarily. Perhaps the first test she'd ever passed. (Is it possible to fail? To be NO kind of Converse?") Most likely, she wouldn't have used the same amount time it took to take the Converse test to, say, write her Congressperson.

I mean even I, the most politically cynical person I know, write my congressman. In jail. I have to smuggle my letter in a chocolate cake. But hey, that's Washington. Soon Congressional terms won't be two years; they'll be five to ten. With time off for good behavior.

Of course, they'll be in the kind of prison that has an 18-hole golf course. High ceilings. River view.

PRISON GUARD: Warden, the prisoners are rioting on the patio! They sent back the squab!

The only time we're likely to ever see prison reform is when enough politicians are sent there.

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