Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Frankenstein's MySpace Page

Name: Frankenstein

Gender: Not sure

Occupation: Scaring people

Interested in Meeting People: For organ transplants

Current mood: Confused

Bio: Made in a lab by a demented Brit. Troubled youth.

Status: Undead

About Me: Like the ladies … 6’9” of nuts-and-bolts pimp juice.

Friends: Wolfman, Invisible Man, Dracula

Enemies: Townspeople

Smoke/drink: Tobacco, wine – GOOD

Hobbies and interests: Grunting, lurching

What I’m Looking For: Bride

Music: Mozart's Violin Concerto No. 3 in G Major, K. 216

Movies/TV: “Nip/Tuck”

What I’m Here For: To become fully human

Orientation: Grrrrrr!!!!

Body type: Hulking, lurching

Children: Killed one once

Things to Buy: Digital neck bolt

Inspirational quote: “When the going gets tough, the tough go on a rampage.”


Popoca, the Aztec Mummy—“Frank” is one awesome dude. He realy helped me out when the Robot was beeting the hell out of me because … well, I’m still not sure, somethin’ to do with his evil master and I tried to put an Aztec Mummy curse on him but I guess it don’t work on robots. This was after Bat the masked wrestler tried to screw me out of my ancient tresure, because he worked for an evil Mexican mob who also wanted the tresure … Anyway, about Frank… him and me, we just … simpatico, you know? Even tho he doesn’t habla the espanol, I mean, he doesn’t really say much in any langwich, but then agen Im a man of few words myselv.

Im-ho-tep, the real (Egypshun) Mummy—First of all I wood lik to say that I hav been a mumy way longer than that cheap Mexican raghead, Popoca. Him and his kine are taking jobs away from real mumys becuz they will work for hav what we charge. They come to this country illegal and jes lie around and get mumy benefits. And sekondlee I have nown Frankenstein way longer than that wetback mumy Popoca. Frank you are alright in my book. But jes make sur you now hoo is a reel mumy from hoo is a fak mumy.

Creature from the Black Lagoon: lol .. what are u doin.. AND THANKS



Jaycees, Friar’s Club.

Comments: You jes got to love yourself, even if your skin is green and your

scalp is stapled to your hed.

I want to go on the rekerd on something: I did not “meet” the Wolf Man. We

were at the same party, but he was wit his people and I was wit mine.

Friend…ster – Goood!

Frankenstein’s Blog:

(Undated): People r always hasslin’ me in my face they all want a peas a me. Deze freeks wanna challenge me to a monster duel or dey scream and light their torches and chase me through the woods with guns. Its hard for me even to go to the supermarket! Like today, I dezided to go to the mall and see if I culd get me some new boots at and no sooner than I go into the store than mall security gards surround me with chains and shit. I had to kill about six of them by punching them on the top of their head reel hard and one I grabbed by the throat and picked him up and shook him till he dropped. And Timberland didn’t even have my size – 35GGGGG.

(Undated) My hed herts. Today some kid comes up to me and asks are u Frankinstein the Monster? And I had to stop and think about it. You know I am having a hard time thinking mus be all doze elecctrik volts shooting into my brane. I dunno who I’m am anymore. Am I’m Frankinstein the Monster? Am I’m Frankenstein the Sensitive Guy who likes violin muzik? Or am I’m Frankenstein the Accountant? I no I’m am not Dr. Frankenstein, cuz I never went to medical school and besides that’s the name of that demented lunatic who made me. … Anyway, I punched the kid on the top of his hed and he ded now.

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